Over the last two decades I have consulted to, provided workshops for, and delivered keynote presentations on leadership to a variety of restaurant chains and individual restaurant managers. I continue to be surprised by the general confusion between management and leadership. Managers push, leaders pull. Managers try to light a fire under people, leaders stoke the fire within. Managers command, leaders inspire. Managers use position power, leaders use persuasion power. Managers control, leaders foster commitment.

For some reason, the contrast between extreme management and leadership seems to be especially sharp in the restaurant business. Management tends to be at the extremes edges in this industry. It often involves fear and intimidation. How can fearful and angry serving staff turn around and provide great service? Research clearly shows that they don't. As Don Cherry might say, it's not "rocket surgery." Unhappy and poorly served staff passes how they are treated to their customers. In today's workplace, a management style of pushing people around often pushes the highest performers right out the door.

Maybe it's just because I was raised on a farm, but whenever I hear managers use the term "head count" (and I hear it a lot), it grates on me like fingernails scratching a blackboard. When managers say things like "we've got to reduce our head count", I immediately think of cattle. In the community where I grew up, farmers would ask each other questions like "how many head are you milking?" when talking about cows in a dairy herd. People were never referred to this way.

Despite all their pious declarations about the importance of people, leadership, and values, far too many managers treat people in their operations with about as much care as they would attach to fixtures, equipment, or décor. They are just one more set of assets to be managed. These just happen to be breathing and have skin wrapped around them. Managers who view "their people" as property are cold and dispassionate. In fact, they would make perfect donors for heart transplants – their hearts have had such little use!